Clear the fear, consider flying.

After a long time, I've decided to blog out my misery at work, to relieve my heavy-weighing soul. And to serve as a reminder to the Owl (an animal I like to associate myself with) for preparation to spread out my wings to fly to another part of the working world.

But please only click read more if you're prepared and interested to read my rants.

*****

As I've been counting down the number of months that I've been relapse-free, I was ecstatic when I typed I was past the fourth-month mark. But of course, unsurprisingly yet not, I fell back to square one again. The relapse returned twice within a month. Such a terrible feeling to feel.

Forget it.

That aside, I think my health is not that bad, it's time to consider leaving at the wherever workplace I am right now. I'm tired of being at the beck and call of juniors, just because they're degree holders, and myself being a diploma graduate; this makes me really demoralised and pathetic as a whole. I know well that I'm one who has mild inferiority complex, it's an even higher time that I should consider resigning from here.

And count on the point that the place I am right now is a fucked up, low-paying and unappreciative compound. The only goodness of this place is that it's a ten-minute drive away from my home.

I know I've been telling the circle of friends of my consideration to leave the company for ages, but couldn't do so due to my worsening condition back in within the last 2 to 3 years; of course, I also harboured the fear (and am still) that no company will hire me for my disturbing medical condition, and of course, a consoling reminder from a very special ex-colleague not to be rash with my resignation for reasons like being angry with my team colleagues, and whatnot.

All right, so with these two reasons, I am still living within the zoo I'm at right now. Yes, it's
intentional that I call my company a zoo, for it has foul mouths, twisted brains, scheming expressions and heavily flawed beings.

Okay, not all colleagues are like such, but at least half of them fall into such a category.

After all the ranting, I know well that it's time for the Owl to fly out of the zoo and venture to other parts of the working world to lighten my burdens and make myself happy.