Sentimentality

If you're a regular reader of wordmentummm, you'll realise that the dates are sometimes adjusted to suit the once-monthly schedule. Yes, this current one is a beyond-schedule post. 

One of my female friends have been trying to dig out my sentimental side once again, but can only come up with this:

打是疼，骂是爱
咒是想念，怪是关心

I'm not a great lover to start with. I can think of all kinds of romantic stuff to do for their significant other, but I don't even have the guts to do them for myself.

The above-mentioned Chinese words have some deep meaning. The first line is a common saying by the Chinese, the second line was made up impromptu when I was trying to tease or flirt with my female friend.

Where beating is painful, scolding is love. 
Where cursing is yearning, blaming is caring. 

I'm someone who really apply all these into my relationship life.

Honestly, I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing. I don't really like to express my vulnerable self in front of people, as it's believably to be a sign of weakness in my view.

In reason to being dug of my sentimental side, this is because of a male colleague that I've lately been talking closely with.

(Note that this is not the geeky male from 2013, we've cleared the air, which end up to himself becoming my so-called father figure.)

Now it's someone from the China counterpart.

We have been sending texts with assuring hugs and words of comfort during times of stress and sickness for the past month or two.

And I feel like knocking my head against the wall just thinking about it, because I detest China people so much for their uncouth attitude, extremely-loud mouth, and showy ego, but now I end up getting close to one of them.

Please don't ask me whether we are crushing on each other, because I don't know.