To rewrite the definition of me.

I've actually read three books this month, as this is a sick period of mine. I'd actually gone for an unintended long leave during the second week.

Through the first novel for the month that I'd read, entitled, Me Before You, I'd stumbled upon this quote which I'll now never forget:

Don't let the result of one mistake to be the thing that defines you. 

Through the years that I've been suffering from epilepsy, I've faced hard times of opening up and showing myself to the world, to the extent of becoming an almost true-blue introvert.

And until today I still hide myself. It's just that I do not show and mention it outright.

When I have an infatuation on anyone, I will show hints (by words) to that male party, but won't mention to him about it. Even when I once did, I totally shut him off from saying his answer, in fear of getting a rejection that will destroy my ego.

I've let my illness wrap me like a spring roll, to hide my soft filling within the crispiness of its skin. I've left my heart locked within the premises of Rapunzel's door-less castle. Its hardness has become a vital part that stops me from doing and pursuing anything. Even until today, I still feel like I've not overcome my dysphoria at all. I still tear when recounting the first relapse that determined my condition. I still blame myself for having let a male get the better of my mental health. I still feel that my ill health will be a burden to anyone who want to try getting close to me in the romantic sense, regardless of any amount of assurance.

But reading the above quote in bold, it makes me feel like trying to put it behind me. I've actually put it in most of my well-used platforms.

I know it's easier said than done, but I know it's better than not trying at all.