Eyes have not seen. Ears have not heard.

Goodbye August, Hello September. 

Before I know it, we've already reached the fourth quarter of 2018. 

I have been trying hard to gather inspiration to make a blogpost here, and have started to write drafts, with essays of how I could type my topic of the month. So far, I think it works, but I am not sure how true it is, for this is only the second month of implementing this method. 

I've decided to make a little broadcast, which is that, I've been attending church services for a couple of months; this is to get myself back on track, to heal myself spiritually, and fulfilling one of my resolutions for project #healthishappiness2018.

Recently this week, I've attended church services on two consecutive days, which is considered a marvel to me, given that I'm not a staunch Christian who prays and/or read the Bible every day. But the thing about attending services is the great help to stimulate the brain to reflect more on our individualities, the choices and values we hold close to our lives.

The reflections I have been feeling and thinking these few times: 

Disappointment

Disappointed is experienced by everyone. 
Disappointment is by choice. 

For a long time, I lead a life with never-ending buildup of disappointments. Every kind of disappointment, from my early schooling education until today, you think, you name it.

✓ Bad academic results
✓ Failed relationships
✓ Stubbornness

I keep asking myself,

What if I had studied harder, what if I didn't have any childhood relationships, would I have achieved better results and be the scientist / chemical developer I always wanted to be since I was a kid? 

What if I had made better relationship decisions, if I didn't let my heart waver too easily, would I still be with the first love whom I could go free-and-easy with? 

What if I didn't let Nicholas Hui and my stressful work-life affect me badly, would I still get Epilepsy?

What if I tried liking and believing in my ex-boss better, would I still resign from Best World so soon? 

But I know I can't be crying over spilled milk forever. Whatever happened had already happened, the damages have already been done. The thing that I can do now is walk forward, persevere and strive to improve/recover my health condition; following that is to get a new job and ambition to pen down new chapters in my life.

Disappointment leads to defeat. 
And I know I don't want to be defeated. 
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Sorrow vs. Rejoicing
Sorrow comes from what I feel. 
Sorrow is a natural reaction to painful circumstances. 
Rejoicing comes from what I know. 
Rejoicing is an intentional expression of truth. 

Disappointments lead to sorrow.
An emotion that is felt by all human beings, in all places, all times.

The meaning of rejoice is to be glad; take delight.
To rejoice in a person's happiness.

While writing this blog post (which admittedly, has taken me 2 to 3 days worth of inspirational juices), and reading through past noted quotes from novels and inspirational books, I realise that authors actually pen down more about sorrow than rejoicing/happiness.

I, myself, feel sad that working has made people become more robotic towards life. It had made people feel more regretful and depressed about their unachievable actions, myself included.

I stumbled upon this quote that is so true about sorrow in reality right now.

As mankind grew obsessed with its hours, the sorrow of lost time become a permanent hole in the human heart. People fretted over missed chances, over inefficient days; they worried constantly about how long they would live, because counting life's movement had led, inevitably, to counting them down. 

- The Time Keeper, Mitch Albom

But at the same time, an inspirational book had offered a good consolation, a bright light that make people know that we can overcome sorrow.

So go ahead, face your grief. Give yourself time. Permit yourself tears. God understands. He knows the sorrow of a grave. He buried his son. But He also knows the joy of resurrection. And, by His power, you will too.  

- You'll Get Through This, Max Lucado 

It's so sad that now rejoicing has become a form of euphoria that is such a simple word but yet so difficult to be felt, especially through the many forms of stress in human beings. This quote has indeed expressed how that euphoria is like in this current society.

Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world.  

- Pema Chodron 

Even though many will wish that they felt rejoiced and/or happiness for lifetime, but
I strongly believe that we should always feel a balance of both.

If we were to be rejoicing/happy forever, we will not know the meaning of perseverance, nor the meaning of strengthening oneself through adversities.

As the Bible quotes,

As sorrowful, yet rejoicing, as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing all things.  

- II Corinthians 6:10 (NKJV) 

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Embracing our strengths and weaknesses. 
Our strengths and weaknesses are gifts from God. 

No person is perfect. Every individual has their own strengths and weaknesses.

There's a crack (or cracks) in everyone... that's how the light of God gets in. 

- Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert 

But not many people realise that, in order to wholly embrace people's strengths and weaknesses, we will have to first embrace our own. There's a saying that goes,

Love someone as much as you love yourself.

I have bolded the above-mentioned quote in red, to remind myself that it's always important to love myself wholeheartedly, strengths and weaknesses.
______

I know this has been a lengthy post, but I'll like to end this reflection with a quote from Nick Vujicic,

I have a choice. You have a choice. We can choose to dwell on disappointments and shortcomings. We can choose to be bitter, angry, or sad. Or when faced with hard times and hurtful people, we can choose to learn from the experience and move forward, taking responsibility for our own happiness.  

- Life Without Limits, Nick Vujicic