The one that got away.

It's a new week of work, and I'm here feeling the dreadfulness of working. Finally I'm feeling it - It's ten days to my second month of working at  Best World International. I don't see myself involved in any politics yet, but I can't say so fast. Working environment is full of many-faced colleagues, twisted words and rolling eyes - &The worst one, full of pinpointers.

Then again, I've got nagged at by the Branding manager of my careless of a mistaken POM Number to Indonesia that he had to stop all the artwork. My fault, of course. I do all the artworks, isn't it? Sigh.

&Remembering the last week's heart-dampening email from my manager is even worse. That's the hardest I can swallow during my probation period already; of course, I wouldn't show what's the contents of it. It's really demoralising, especially to myself.

But people always say, 

"if you don't have it tough, how are you going to become stronger?"

"How are you going to have the determination to perform better?" 

"How are you going to succeed without any failures?" 

Life never happens the smoothest way possible. Life was never like the smooth-sailing of the boat, not driving smoothly on a quiet road, nor a bed of roses, nor a luxurious moment at the hot springs.

___________

So it was goodbye to Mr. Blue Roses last night.

I've returned your hard-disk-drive, and your Sennheiser earphones.

We have walked away, without saying goodbye.

To be frank, I don't feel guilty or sad that we have parted our separate ways, 'cause perhaps this whole losing-contact shit might just be for your benefit and mine. It might be better if we were gone from each other's lives, for your recovery. Since you can't afford us to stay as friends after the final rejection I have made, this is the end of the road for this friendship of ours.

We've had a really long friendship, a deep one at that; You were a listener, a punching bag, a family man, an advisor, a slave, or whoever when I needed one. It had been seven years since we've known each other, the deepness was definitely there. But as you say, I was never one to you. You may say you never blame me for it, but isn't that just part of coating sugar onto the plain donut? Because I know, there's definitely a level of "it-is-her-fault" in there. It's normal.

&Finally, remember my level of feminism - I'll never go for my good friend's exboyfriend (no matter how long ago it is). Not all girls are the same. I'm the different one that will never do so, 'cause it will feel like betrayal, especially knowing that she was never having a smooth time in love.

P.S Y'know, I'm really tired, of thinking, and falling into a bottomless black pit of loveless facade. We should start throwing shocking truths and painful lies to each other soon. Sigh.

"And in another life I would be your girl. We keep all our promises, be us against the world. And in another life, I would make you stay. So I don't have to say you were the one that got away - The one that got away." - The One That Got Away, Katy Perry. 

Thinking about it, just as I'm singing along to the above-mentioned; Where are you, stupid pig?