Maybe I shouldn't have confessed my true feelings to you after all. Maybe I shouldn't have even talked or harped on the fact that I still love you and indirectly saying I'm willing to wait for you; and the best part of myself, still being so concern for you, even at the last straw of forcing myself to text you with a smile on my face despite the crushing words you might have told me.
Let me frankly tell you here - I have never wanted a relationship, I only want something to hold on to. Maybe I've conveyed it in the wrong way, and made you get mistaken, but now, you might not even seem like the last source I can hold on to.
Maybe I really shouldn't have shown the most vulnerable side of myself in the very first place. Maybe we shouldn't have gone so deep in the first place. Maybe we should have never led each other on till the stage where "we could easily say we belong to each other". I'm only getting more open to you after we've officially ended our relationship two years ago. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with us? I really don't know.
I've been in immense fear these days that I'm getting myself out of sorts. I don't even know what's wrong with myself anymore. I'm so scared for my love life, my career, my own personal goals and aspirations, and even my own dreams. Especially my career, it's getting out of the path I've always wanted to take.
Never you mind. You never knew all of these anyway. I'm sorry.
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